my so-called yoga life

Last week, I talked about an impromptu real yoga moment.  Today, I introduce you to the so-called yoga-related things I do.

Unproductive? Yes. Vain? You got it. Silly? Definitely. Lame? Probably.

Typical week night:

1. Get into headstand. No warm ups, no meditation, no sun salutation, nothing. Just go for a headstand. Naturally, I wobble. Feet land at the wall. Of course I am better than ‘that’. Repeat. Go off the wall to ‘challenge’ myself. Fall. Shake the floor. Dog gives me an annoyed look and walks to another room.

2. Of course, that just totally warmed me up to Bakasana (crow pose). Head still a little dizzy. Still, no warm ups, no sun salutation, no  hip openings. I attempt crow, legs slide off.  Attempt again, yes, legs stay, lean forward, elbow plant. Pissed. Repeat. Goddammit I am going to get this, right now. Plant hands on the floor, bring knees up, forget to engage core, FACEPLANT. Repeat 2 more times.

photo by: dejahthoris

obviously, this is not what my bakasana looks like.

3. Ego deflated , wrists sore. Go to computer. Go to Lululemon.com Of course I can’t afford the stuff. I get intimidated by studios filled with hardbod lululemings, but I still browse in ‘We made too much’ page. Hmm.. I still have that gift card from Christmas. Nothing I like is on sale. Go to ‘Crops’ page, see which type would make my ass look more ‘yogic’  Dog watches me to my room.

4. Go to my dresser, pull out the old Lululemon leggings I bought last year. They were on sale. But they are in my ‘Reserve’ apparel collection. ‘Reserved collection’ means things I like so much I save hoard until they become 1) too small 2) totally out of vogue they are not wearable. Somehow adoring my yoga pants them makes me feel like a more skilled yogi.

5. Try on -the- lulu reserve leggings. They still fit.  well,  they stretch, so they damn well should fit. Do an 180, check out my bum in the mirror. Do they look more ‘yoga hard body’ after my hard core headstand/crow workout? Is this a vinyasa certified ass?  hmm.. these pants do suck me in. check out the front. flat. no lines. good. I guess the extra money is good for something.

photo by: lululemon (disclaimer: this is not my behind. it’s way smaller. naturally. it’s a lululemon model)

Trying to make myself feel better about this purchase. Alright, time to take them off. These pants pill, right? They are my reserve collection. Gotta put it back in the ‘Reserve’ drawer.

6. Go to amazon.com, look exhaustively for free music to add to my yoga playlist. Most of the music is no good. Wait, did I already test listen that one? Preview the album. Meh. By song # 6 I realized I already previewed it 3 days ago. Go to whiteswan.com, look for free Wednesday download. Wait, I already downloaded the same song somewhere else. Dog sits by my computer, giving me the ‘hey, we-gotta-walk-look.’

7. Twitter. Jump to Elephant Journal. Read a blog. Oh Shit. I haven’t written anything in a while. What should I write? I already voiced my frustrations with driving. How about ??? Forget it. Go to Nine West or Piperlime. Look for those nude color heels.  They will make my legs longer, right?  Narrow down to almond shaped toes.  Now only if they actually make them wide enough for my feet. No luck.

8. Dog is whining. He’s been waiting for his you know what walk for the last 3 hours. I can say ‘walk’ here. I am typing. He can’t read what I am typing. go back to amazon.com There is probably some important book about yoga that I should buy.  Dog is now whining and pacing in circles.

9. Grab the leash and 2 baggies. I get off my arse and walk my dog.  The End.

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Thais
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 15:09:28

    funny thing is – i believe the majority of people’s lives are just like yours. i LOVE how authentic and true to yourself you are on your blog. i will too randomly enter headstand to see if i can “do it”. and of course, not being properly ready, i fall and cuss. the life of a yogi right? =D haha

    Reply

  2. YoginiBunny
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 15:38:46

    Thanks for reading and laughing with me! Sometimes I just need to make fun of myself… Tonight, I am going to take a class so no time for procrastination, and I will walk my dog too!

    Reply

  3. YogiCrystal
    Sep 02, 2011 @ 12:01:29

    Sounds like a typical evening to me…. 🙂 At least you’re honest about it! And yeah… those 100 dollar lulu pants do freaking pill. Not impressed at that price lol

    Reply

    • YoginiBunny
      Sep 02, 2011 @ 12:07:07

      thanks for checking out my site and read my silliness : ) I hate to admit it, but I think most people buy Lulu for the ‘flattering premium’ and nice to meet you Crystal! it’s good to meet you through Thais and other yoga bloggers via YIOM

      Reply

  4. Deborah
    Sep 03, 2011 @ 11:58:49

    This is flipping hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh!! And by the way, I’m not sure I’ll EVER master crow pose! With my shoulder issues it scares the spit out of me!!

    Reply

  5. aphdinyoga
    Sep 04, 2011 @ 00:49:39

    I’m impressed you even attempt handstand and crow. You’re a brave yogi 😉 I thought your description of your yoga-life was very relatable on every other point though, I too sometimes go to Lululemon to look at stuff I can’t afford. Very frustrating to be honest! Please keep writing honest and real posts like these!

    Reply

  6. YoginiBunny
    Sep 04, 2011 @ 11:03:47

    Thanks Deborah and APHDinYoga for commenting. Sometimes I feel being honest will earn me judgments from others, but seeing everyone’s comments here makes me feel safe to completely express myself with openness. Thanks for that. and as you can see, my practice and writing is often not so serious…

    Reply

  7. Flying Yogini
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 17:52:47

    I love this! I completely hide my fav clothes so they don’t get worn out, or I buy 4 pairs so I can have them over and over again (read: hard tail black pants).

    For crow: start standing on a block or on your tippie toes so your knees start as far up into your arm pits as possible. that way when you slide forward and they slide down they won’t slip off the end of your elbow. Go slowly: one foot off the ground at a time.

    Mostly remember: it’s a life practice. You rock harder than any arm balance!! xo

    Reply

    • YoginiBunny
      Sep 10, 2011 @ 13:03:31

      Thanks Nancy! Thank you for checking out my blog and commenting! I totally agree- the blocks make such a big difference. I have short arms and short legs and having block for this pose is tremendously helpful. you are right! it is a life practice …. and so is cultivating my patience 🙂

      Reply

  8. Rosie
    Sep 13, 2011 @ 13:20:22

    This made me smile. Thanks for being so authentic!

    Reply

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